she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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