I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
