I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
