okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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