normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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