will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
