Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
