Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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