Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
