my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
