Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
