He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
