i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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