Your face is a jimmy john
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
