Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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