plz talk dirty to me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
