Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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