Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
