I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
