So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I AM VODKA MAN
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
