I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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