You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dear god my vagina.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
