So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just want nice things and good sex
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
