I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
