On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
