we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So apparently I’m into choking now
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