Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
