Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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