How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
