The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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