at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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