it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
