Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
