we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
