I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
