he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
