Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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