Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
