Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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