Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
