Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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