you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
