Having a random hookup so left but love u
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
