Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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