this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
