I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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