My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
