Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
