When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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