sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
