Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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